How do I stop the constant caring of what I look like, it's controlling my life?
Topic: How do I stop the constant caring of what I look like, it's controlling my life?
July 19, 2019 / By Clint Question:
I don't think I'm ugly or anything but I get insecure easily. I feel like I have to look perfect every time I look in the mirror. Every time I go past something that has some kind of reflection I look in it and evaluate what I look like. Sometimes I look in the mirror for a long time when I do look good until I start seeing that that I don't like.
This doesn't happen all of the time, but it's definitely habitual. I just want to stop caring about how I look all of the time because looks fade, I want to enjoy my youth while I still have it because I know sooner or later I won't have it anymore and I'll wonder why I spent so much time worrying about petty things like this.
I feel so bad about wasting so much time worrying about how I look. Even though I still spend time enjoying myself I feel like I could spend more time having fun instead of critiquing myself all the time. I'm so overly critical of myself and it just sucks.
How do I stop? I just want to stop caring about my looks. I just want to be like "who cares?" if I think I look ugly one day. I want to be able to laugh at my insecurities....not let them control my life.
I'm 19 by the way.
Funny thing is I don't care about material things that much like my clothes and such...it's just my body.
Best Answers: How do I stop the constant caring of what I look like, it's controlling my life?
Anscom | 2 days ago
You are wasting your time and really people look at your pride and self esteem (unless they're emo) but people really never care about your looks. No one has ever gone up to anyone and was like "You don't look so good" but some times people see other people's low self-esteems and use it to their advantage to make themselves look better. So it really is true that a smile would make you look 50x better. Looking at yourself in the mirror will never change anything and no one is ever looking, This isnt what life is about.
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Originally Answered: How to stop constant meowing?
I have some ideas.
The cat might have learnt to meow for what it wants. Food, attention, affection, toilet and now can hardly stop because he always wants you to play/attend to his needs. If the problem may be attention, exercise the cat daily until worn out and it can't be bothered to meow anymore, then eventually he may just stop the constant meow. If it's food/toilet related, don't give in to the blackmail meows, wait until he is silent to give him what he wants.
Your cat could also be stressed. Do you have any other pets? Loud constant noises? Is it always trying to hide? Try removing any stress related problems or reducing them. I doubt its injured from the information you've told me, but it's always best to get a professionals advice whatever it may be.
Has he been neutered? (removal of testes) This could be the main problem... Just see your local vet if not straight away, unless you want him running up the walls in need of a female cat.
My kitten rag doll would never shut up and sometimes you really have to sit down and give it a firm pat/cuddle. The vet told me people are never rough enough with cats and they love to be "man handled" once and a while (in moderation). Stroke it really hard on the back or where it likes to be pet and smother its face nicely with your hand. He loves it, not more than a year old either. He does still meow for food and when he needs to go to the toilet, but you will always expect that with a cat. I suppose he could have grown out of it as well.
I hope this helps, good luck with him! :-)
It's really easy to tell you that it's pointless and just to stop caring... but I realize that's easier said than done.
This may be a morbid thing to do,... but I learned in a Buddhist class and it's about vanity and I think it may help here.
Ok... this will sound really gross but trust me it has a point.... look at a dead body. I realize that sounds super creepy... but look at something dead... maybe road kill, whatever it is. Really analyze it and really take it in... eventually nothing is "beautiful" physically. Eventualy with time everything disintegrates. It may sound very depressing but its teaching you a valuable life lesson.
To stress over what you perceive as visually stimulating now is like feeding an addiction. It will bring you nothing but a shallow sense of identity becuase it is so impermanent. While everything to one degree or another is impermanent, vanity in particular brings you no gain or value. Just like a dead corpse of something was once very beautiful, it will all come to an end one day.
Maybe look beyond that physical structure and see what is underneath. That sounds so cliche but its so true. I think once you realize how pointless vanity is you'll drop it. Appearing physically fantastic does not make you a fanstatic person. But by virtue of doing and acting in fantastic ways... that makes you a fantastic person.
what I said may sound condescending to a degree... you're 19, you're an adult I think you realize the things you need to do. That's why I recommended the rather disgusting suggestion of looking at a corpse and pondering it for some time.... but oddly enough it kind of worked for me a little after it really soaked in. The feeling is kind of ineffable, but I realized through this practice that looks definitley do not mean anything.
Plus.. if all that fails.... just remember the one universal truth... you are always your biggest critic. No one around pays enough attention to care... and if they do pay attention they care anyways and chances are they think you're beautiful.
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I think you are preoccupied because you do realize your looks will fade. Not everyone recognizes their mortality by 19. If you really want to stop being so preoccupied, maybe you should practice not looking in a mirror for a few days. Yes, you might look messy and probably not your best, but maybe with practice you can let go of this habit that is making you miserable.
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I think you love yourself too much.
The pleasure of having is the way of giving.
Learn to give what ever it is. Be it your feelings or your love. Physical thing is nothing. You are in total vain. Vanity is the worst enemy of human being. There is no beauty in it. So stop it. Every thing around you is ugly. So quit it before it destroy not only you but anyone who tries to be with you.
Be happy on what you have and what you are. You don't know the effect of being happy and how attractive it is to others.
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Originally Answered: Please Help me. A constant urge to pee is ruining my life!?
Since the other things were ruled out medically, you likely have what is termed "bathroom anxiety", or the constant urge to pee when a bathroom is not readily available. Unfortunately, it's psychological, and often brought about by a bad experience, such as peeing your pants in karate at age nine. Were you not allowed to go to the bathroom? Did you try to hold it but couldn't and peed your pants? Did the other kids see? All these can factor in and build up a fear that you're going to pee your pants again while in karate or while horseback riding. What can you do? First, know that you're not alone. A constant urge to pee is fairly common for a lot of girls in their early teenage years, though most won't admit it. It often goes away without doing anything by the late teen years or they have overcome it. Tell yourself often "I don't need to to pee" and you'll eventually convince your mind of that.