Help for husband in Basic Training!?
Topic: Help for husband in Basic Training!?
July 18, 2019 / By Melia Question:
My husband left for basic training for the Air Force on december 8th. He was so excited that he got his MOS of EOD , especially since he didn't think he would be leaving until feb or march. He had been talking about joining for a while and we talked it over and he decided to take it and go. The Sunday after he got to Lack land I got his 3 minute call and his address so I could finally send him all the letters I was writing. He sounded very upset and told me he made a very bad mistake and he didn't want this. I half expected him to be upset and reassured him everything would be okay and it wouldn't be long and it would be over. I was sure that his next call wouldn't come until Christmas, and was surprised when I got a call the following Sunday. He was even more upset, which was very disheartining. I expected him to be better than before. He was saying he didn't want to be there any more and wanted to come home and he was depressed and felt like he was going crazy. I keep telling him it will be okay, and it's only 8 1/2 weeks and it will be worth it , and I'm here for him, and he made a promise to serve , and I'm proud of him . I tell him everything I can think of but even on Christmas he told me he can't take it anymore and he is going to do something crazy if he doesn't get out. I am so devestated. I don't want him to do something stupid. He really honestly wanted to be a part of the Air Force, and was so excited. I just don't understand. I have been nothing but supportive and so have his parents and family. This is not like my husband ! Could it be he is just not cut out for this? My father was a Marine and I know the Air Force can't be harder than that, so what gives? I need advice from someone with experience in this. I don't want him to feel like a failure, but if this continues despite my efforts to support him I am afraid for his safety. I don't know if maybe he has developed some emotional problems or what but I need to know what to do if this continues, because I don't want to lose my husband. Also he has ADD . I don't know if that has something to do with it, but he has not been medicated regularly since he was a teenager (8-9 yrs ago) and the recruiter said don't worry about a waiver for it since he was not diagnosed by a psychaitrist. Just for the record I thought that was a bad idea. Any thoughts on this would help also. Please no negative statements. I have been raised in a military family and am fiercely patriotic. My husband's father is also a veteran, and I don't believe he is trying to "get out of " serving, I think something is seriously wrong because my husband does NOT cry.
Thanks for your quick responses!Just for future responses, My father passed three years ago, I sure could use his advice though.
To answer some people. NO I don't expect milk and cookies or whatever. I am personally okay. I am worried about him. I don't know what HE expected. We talked about it, he told me he knew what it would be like, but I don't think anyone does until they experience it.
Secondly, yes I know what an EOD tech does. The only person who knows about his ADD is the recruiter, and I don't think he gave a rats *** either way as long as he signed the papers.
That answer from Mr Puma is a disturbing one. I know people say things they don't mean when they are upset, and I don't want to call and get him more attention (trouble). I hope I don't regret it, but all this worrying is really taking it's toll on me.
Best Answers: Help for husband in Basic Training!?
Leanne | 7 days ago
It sounds to me like the guy just isn't military material. Some people aren't. My friend just got discharged and he said he was upset at first but he is glad he did because it just wasn't for him. He would be better off getting out than being miserable for however long his contract is. He is just going to waste government time and money and end up getting himself or someone else hurt if he doesn't want to do this. It sounds like you have tried to convince him to stay, but if he is THAT miserable then support him in getting out of there. You never know what desperate people are capable of and the service will make you desperate.
👍 122 | 👎 7
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Originally Answered: Will my husband be able to talk to me during basic training considering im pregnant?
As others have noted, it depends on the service. The first week is going to be the roughest, but usually they want him to write home within the first few days of arriving. If he takes a cell phone he won't be able to keep it. Usually by the second weekend, and sometimes the first, trainees will have some access to pay phones. As training progresses he should have more freedom. He will have to call you, unless there is an emergency, in which case you will need to contact him through the Red Cross.
By the end of his training he may have the freedom to call home several times a week, and you may be able to call him. Letters will definitely help both of you. My advice is don't overdo contact as this could be a major distraction for him at any of several critical times during training. If there is an emergency you will be able to contact him. Take care of yourself and the baby, and be patient. Basic doesn't last forever, although it may seem like it does when you're going through it.
Tell your husband that it gets better. I was in the same boat one month ago. I am currently on christmas exodus from FT. Benning and the first week which was in processing i was the same way he was. Calling my wife breaking down and saying i can't do this any more. it does get alot better i am doing so much better now. i have been 3 weeks and when i get back will have 7 weeks to go. U can email me if u want and i will give u my address so he can write and correspond with me.. It will truely get better the first 2 weeks break you down and the next 8 weeks buikd you up and make you alot better person and a whole lot stronger
Also half these people answering have no clue on how hard it is to be there and be away from your family. I was excited also when i first started. Got there and everything at once breaks you down quick. I had a one on one with my D.S cause i wasn't sure i could do it. He told me the fastest way out was through finishing basic. Well i am glad i stuck around. If he can make it the first 2-3 weeks then from there on it will be easier. It was getting easier for my when i left for christmas. What worked for me was writing my wife a letter every night no matter how late it was about my day and my thoughts. i wrote a few 20 page letters but it really helped. It made it alot easier to deal with and took alot of pressure off
👍 40 | 👎 1
Legally quit and go home anytime you choose?
Stupid civilians think they know everything. The military has no legal obligation to let you out at any point, even while you're only in DEP.
Moving on... Your husband is in basic training, and everyone thinks they made the wrong choice while in basic/boot camp. Only time will tell if he can cut it in the military.
That being said... He may want to try to get a new MOS if he is having that many problems with basic training. EOD is a hard school and will make basic training look like a walk in the park (well... It is Air Force...) :P
I'm also pretty surprise they gave him EOD if he has ADD... You do realize what an EOD tech does, right?
👍 34 | 👎 -5
No it won't happen.. Having things such as unknown heart conditions are going to come about at one time or another and basic training wouldn't be connected to it. Especially in the Air Force (not dissing the USAF) but they don't necessarily have the hardest basic training and if your husband has been doing strenuous workouts for 2 months and is perfectly healthy then i'm 100 percent sure he'll be fine.
👍 28 | 👎 -11
That's actually a pretty normal thing to happen. Once you get to basic training and all those mean guys start yelling at you and make you do a lot of PT, you'll be thinking "what the hell did I get myself into?!?!" No matter how prepared you get for it, you're always going to be nervous when the time comes to actually go to basic training. He has to get used to his new lifestyle, but don't worry, his actual Air Force career won't be anything like basic training. After a few weeks, he won't be yelled at as much (at least that's how it was in the Army) and it will seem like it gets easier. Just tell him to hang in there, and when he finally overcomes all the challenges he will graduate and look back at basic training and get a few laughs from it. It really does turn you into a better person, and he should be proud to be a part of this great nation's armed forces.
👍 22 | 👎 -17
When i left for Basic Training at lackland 4.5 years ago most of my teamates and me all felt we had made a mistake. I even called my dad and told him i hated it. once you get to the 5th week( there was only 6 weeks when i went through) everything gets a lot better after basic graduation i didnt regret my decision to join anymore. Tell him that its perfectly normal to feel this way, its just hard to adjust to a whole new lifestlye and set of ideas. Hell make it through he just has to stick with it and i promise you he wont regret joining. His ADD wont have anything to do with how he handles things. some of the guys have a harder time than others in basic. he just needs to remember that basic is only 8.5 weeks and once he gets through it then he'll see the light. He will be fine he just need to stick it out. Email me if you have any questions. thank you for your support of the military
👍 16 | 👎 -23
Originally Answered: Boyfriend is going into Basic Training.?
I was active duty, so the Guard is a bit different. He is trying to be strong by saying he will not think of anyone, the opposite is more likely true. At this time, since they are having trouble with recruitment goals and the war situation, he will more than likely be deployed soon after graduation. If you want to write him and do not have the address, try contacting his parents or family (but this is premature as I am sure he would want letters and give his address out). Try and be patient for now, he is likely stressing about the unknown of entering service, basic, and afterwards right now (just like you).