Is it me or her? Im lost right now, help!?

Is it me or her? Im lost right now, help!? Topic: Is it me or her? Im lost right now, help!?
June 16, 2019 / By Aleesha
Question: Well this might be quite long but I seriously need good feedback. I have been with this girl two years now and I have been hot and cold about it for a long time. I feel really used and people keep telling me im her doormat, I treat her like a queen. Basically at first we use to go out and things were all good, we have a big past with care homes etc, however she is more silly and not as sensible as me and her mind age is very young because of some of her past. We use to go out and stuff and now we rarely do, we argue a lot, well I argue with her because she wont get a job, she wont clean, she wont get up early to bother to go out and she is hard to get to have a shower, which in total is off putting, but I really, really love this girl to pieces. I use to take her out for meals, go places buy her flowers and surprise her at college, all sorts, I think I am honest and genuine and try to be romantic, but I dont know what to do. She has met guys off of dating sites in the past and text tons of them constant flirting and saying dirty things, and then saying she is homeless, genuine attention seeking and stuff. She always goes out clubbing when she can, like 4-5 nights a weeek and does not work, I have put two roof's over her head and lived with her for ages, I have paid for her living, for the things she wants. She has said she got spiked and stayed out all night till 12pm the next day and said her mates took her in because she was spiked, yet a man was were she was, a house full of them. In the past she has met guys and had sex with them in like 5 minutes, she is very insecure and loves attention, she is always at me for hugs and kisses non stop and puts me off my job because i run my own business I am at home regular. She has lied to me tons and tons, she goes out and parties and when we went on a break I left her in the flat and she had 3 lads round and lied about it, then she had one stay over and is still denying it, she also asked some guy to move in with her (she said to pay the rent) and she told others he was way better then me and all that crap and then she denied saying it all, then said it was true. I really love this girl and I am lost, my head is mashed, she has done so much, now I dont even trust her or want to go out with her or be romantic anymore, I dont want to spend an hour with her, she has totally pushed me away and I really love her and want to treat her special and take her over the world with me. I plan to become big and successful and she thinks live is **** because you die so she does what she wants because she will die anyway. She has lied to me so much more and done tons of things that seem off. I just really love her and my head is all over, we plan to go on a break for a few months well long distance and I get my new flat, everyone tells me to leave her, she cant cook, clean she cant get a job, she does nothing and is really childish and just wants to party and meet guys. I really do love her and no one understands why I am with her, but I love her, and they all tell me shes using me and she might love me but she does the wrong things. I honestly dont know what to do, I feel like crying my heart out, I have broke down 4 times to her just crying and when she asks, I cant say anything because I honestly dont know what to say or feel I am trapped and stuck in some love maze by a ***** who has hit me, ,cheated on me, used me. I give her everything, I was honest with her, never dreamed of cheating, brought her flowers all the time, took her out, bought her nice things, spent time with her, I would ******* die for her, when she run off to places with other guys or drinking, I was looking for her to make sure shes safe, I would do anything for this woman man. I dunno what to do and I want your honest input, maybe I have become **** now because im fedup maybe I do stay in now because I dont want to go out with her, everything she has done has kinda made me depressed and now I am bored and feel crap all the time. What should I do? I love her so much :( Oh and when we break up or I try to, she just acts like we are still together and nothing has happened, and she has lied to me about having STD's, and she tried to say I beat her when we first got together, yet I am the softest most kindest guy you could ever meet ! Then she always wants attention and is always flirting with guys and they all want to use her for sex and i told her this, shes like I know but she will still sleep at their house! I really care for her, why does she do this
Best Answer

Best Answers: Is it me or her? Im lost right now, help!?

Troy Troy | 3 days ago
you should have a talk with her. you sound as if you feel really alone and lost but if you talk to her, it will go one way or the other; she'll either choose to improve or the two of you will break up. it sounds like the relationship you have with her most likely can't turn around because it seems like its really engraved in her personality to keep hurting you time and time again. you need to stand up for yourself and recognize that you're an individual and that you don't always need to be dependent on her. your relationship has become sort of bitter and rotten, and if it's time to let go, you need to do yourself a huge favor by recognizing that. it also sounds to me like you're a bit scared of her. you should never be. you sound as if you're scared of her breaking your heart and you'd do anything to keep her around. whatever you do, just remember that later, when you have carried out your plan of becoming big and successful, you'll look back and see a girl who abused you who you should have left a long time ago. once you two break up, it will hurt for a while, just remember that it WILL get better and that later, when the pain is gone, you'll look back and see time you could have spent differently than hurting over a girl. don't let this girl push you around. let her know that she's weakening the person who has taken such good care of her for so long. it almost sounds like you two have a mother-daughter sort of relationship. best of luck, you're in a tough position, but you will make it through, with or without the girl. <3
👍 154 | 👎 3
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Troy Originally Answered: Please, please help?! My fiance lost his mother a week ago, and I don't know what to do. I'm so lost.?!?
Well to your first question, i'm guessing you got it pretty much figured out. Just keep doing the little things for him and he'll open up when he's ready. I don't think he wants to open up much because he hasn't even come to understand the fact of his mom dying. He's just as confused as you are, him about his life, while you are confused about him. To your second question it's okay that it scares you. I am pretty sure you have an idea as to why it scares you. I'm just gonna take a stab, without knowing you so here it goes. It's understandable to be scared that you have someones whole life like that in your hands. It's scary because you don't wanna make a wrong move that could hurt him. I really don't agree with him putting that much responsibility on you, but you can't blame the guy either. Your all the love he has left. Love is the most important thing to a human being. Feeling like they belong is what keeps us going. So when he says the stuff he's saying I imagine he means that your love is the only thing that keeps him going because he doesn't know where else to find it. Or to be more critical he doesn't want to find another love right now since he's already going through a big negative change in his life. I think he caught how he scared you though after he said that, that's probably why he said he wouldn't want to leave you. I think he's talking out with emotion so he doesn't make sense in all he's saying. My advice, give it a couple weeks. Let him come to his senses before you start to take everything he says as his literal true emotions. He's probably just hurt and doesn't know how to express what he's feeling. So if you just support him and be strong for him he'll be able to talk to you about how he felt. He'll see it from a third person point-of-view and be able to tell you what was going on through his head without all the emotion. I also want to wish you guys a happy life together as a Married Couple. I hope you guys won't just give up when things get hard like the majority of Americans do. Just remember you guys are their to make each other stronger.

Reubhen Reubhen
As far as I read, Uh she's really taking advantage of you big time. If you really love her then let her go...let her do what she want. If she comes runnin' back to you then she's going to do the same thing. She needs to get herself together, if she wants to be with a guy like you. That's all I'm saying.
👍 60 | 👎 -4

Melbourne Melbourne
Leave her. You feel depressed because she doesn't care about you. She doesn't return your love. And if you died, she would hardly grieve before dating someone else and taking advantage of them the same way. You deserve better. Find a real woman.
👍 58 | 👎 -11

Jojo Jojo
listen to me . do not go back to her. im a female and shes trash. i understand you love her but you need to move on . you may think shes your life but theres so many great girls out there. the only way you will get over her is if you find someone else. talk to other girls, youll find the right one who will be a million times better than her. but you wont be able to move on until you find someone else.
👍 56 | 👎 -18

Jojo Originally Answered: So, the US lost.?
My analysis on this would be: First of all, the U.S. were completely overpowered, which wasn't that surprising, but yet, it still was, because I think without a doubt, the U.S. is the most solid team in the area, but as a visitor, it's just like Mexico we don't see what we see at home. I don't get how people think that U.S. came out looking offensive, not a single bit, did U.S. come out looking offensive, a clear 4-3-3, the only offense in the whole game from the start was going to be Donovan, Altidore, and Dempsey, maybe on a few occasions, Torres, but out of 11, 3 1/2 players were offensive, with Torres being somewhat offensive at times, and then back to being defensive, the rest was going to act as a defensive midfield and the defense, which made a clear statement, "We're coming for a tie!", and as we all know, that's never a good thing to do as a visitor. If you look at what the key to Costa Rica beating U.S. is, the key, in my opinion, was that Costa Rica played U.S. on the ground, which will kill U.S. most of the times, U.S. is not a very good team when the other team plays them on the ground, sure the U.S. is very good considering all those 6 foot players, but on the ground is a completely different game. How many crosses from Costa Rica did you see? I didn't see much, most of the game was being controlled on the ground by Costa Rica, which is what killed the U.S. Anyways, on to the game last night, I think Costa Rica was superior in every single line of the field. Defense: Howard was not as solid as he was in almost any other night, he looked very nervous during the game. Beasley as an experiment, like you said, Beasley has barely seen any minutes at Rangers, and then try him out for an experiment? Come on. Wynne, he might be a good player in the MLS, but he's still got more to go. He ain't ready yet, they can't just throw a young player like Wynne with no experience into a hostile environment like Estadio Saprissa with all that hostility, some players will respond to you, some players won't, Wynne was one of those that didn't respond well to Bradley, which shows he ain't quite ready for these type of games. Onyewu and Bocanegra looked very lost also, both very slow, very nervous, like I said, when they play these 2 defenders on the ground, the other team will get past them, they aren't as good on the ground as in the air, although I think without a doubt, Bocanegra looked better than Onyewu last night. Midfield: In the midfield, Bradley and Mastroeni were completely held well. Costa Rica didn't give them an opportunity at all, which didn't help the U.S. out, which in my opinion, Bradley is the best U.S. player, most of the game comes through Michael Bradley, if you look to it, most of the plays come through him, but Costa Rica held him well. Personally, I can see why Bob Bradley trust him so much, excluding the fact that Michael is his son, about 80% of the U.S. game comes in through Michael Bradley, and if he's shut down, the team shuts down, unless something from someone else creates danger. Torres, I think it was a mistake to take him out, if anyone was creating anything interesting in the midfield last night, it was F. Torres, I think his substitution was too premature. He had some good plays, some interesting passes, I think this was Bradley Sr.'s mistake last night. Forwards: As for Forwards, well all three of them were off last night, none of them really created anything, I think Dempsey is just not the same as with Fulham, in Fulham, he's a very good player, but he comes to the National Team, and he's completely somebody else. Landon is the player who stands out a lot, he's the most dangerous most of the times, but last night, he also disappeared. Altidore was also off, nothing coming from him, besides a few runs. This is how I saw the game last night. Bad game overall, but it wasn't for anything but being that Costa Rica dominated the U.S. team, it wasn't the field, it wasn't the crowd, if was just that Costa Rica was more than the U.S. That's my opinion on last night's game. Peace.

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