Topic: Bridesmaid question?
June 20, 2019 / By Alica Question:
I haven't asked any girls yet to be my bridesmaids. I have one girl who her and I have been friends since we were 10 years old. She is a great person, but she is very self obsessed and unreliable. She also knows nothing about weddings or bridal showers/stagettes/brides maid duties/speeches because she used to be a Jevohva's Witness (she pulled away from the relgion about 7 years ago). I want to ask her to be my Maid of Honor because I love her and she is my best friend, but I don't want to put her in a situation where she doesn't know what to do and I am disappointed. If I ask one of the other girls, I know it will hurt her feelings as our whole lives we have said would be each others Maid Of Honor. What to do? Ask her and risk being disappointed, or ask someone else that is more 'qualified'?
Best Answers: Bridesmaid question?
Tyrrell | 10 days ago
Maybe ask her then give her a book or send her some articles about how to be a great bridesmaid. It might be a great way to bring you together - it shows that you know she's not sure but you love her so much you want her to be in your wedding no matter what. Also if you have other bridesmaids they'll help her out.
Here are some books and articles - http://www.amazon.com/Bridesmaid-Guide-E...
Honestly, unless you've done it before most girls don't know what to do anyway and every bride wants things done differently so all bridesmaids have to learn along the way!
👍 188 | 👎 10
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Originally Answered: I'm going to be a bridesmaid! HELP!?
There's not a lot to it. Wear the dress, smile, and walk where you're told during the ceremony. You don't need to say a word publicly, all speeches/toasts should be done by someone else. All the attention will be on your sister. So long as you feel happy (i.e. think about your sister and how wonderful it is for her), it'll be easier for you to look happy.
Maybe anyone else can again me up, however I believe that younger girl underneath age sixteen will have to be a junior bridesmaid alternatively of a bridesmaid. Most junior bridesmaids I've visible are among the a while of 10 and 15, although a few are as younger as eight and others are as historical as sixteen or 17. Junior bridesmaid is absolutely an proper function for a fifteen-yr-historical.
👍 70 | 👎 3
I don't understand why brides place such high expectations on their attendants - especially the MOH. This is YOUR wedding - you should be doing most of the work. Bridal showers, bachelorette parties are not necessary and do not need to be planned by the MOH. I had my 16-year-old sister be my MOH. She assisted my aunts with my bridal shower but did not plan or pay for it. Same with my bachelorette party - I had a few other friends that got together and decided to do it for me. Nothing fancy - dinner and drinks with friends.
As for the speech, I think your friend could manage that. I'm sure she knows how to give a speech and if not, there are plenty of tips online that she could look up.
The MOH's main duty is to be there for the bride (to make sure she doesn't stress out too much, etc.) and sign the marriage license at the ceremony. Everything else is extra and above and beyond the call of duty.
Ask your friend to be your MOH and don't place such high expectations on what you think she should be doing.
👍 61 | 👎 -4
I just got married a couple of months ago so I can help you with this. Since she is your best, friend this what I suggest you do.Sit her down and tell her you would love for her to be your maid of honor,but there are a lot of duties that come with the job, such as speeches, stagette parties,etc,,,, If she was not able to do this you totally understand, but since you are best friends you want to give her the opportunity to decide before you ask someone else. There should be wedding planning guides available. It is her responsibility to help take pressure off of you. Also, if you have another friend who is already married and more organized, you can have a maid of honor and a matron of honor. Then they can work together to help you pull off your big day.
👍 52 | 👎 -11
my MOH has included both my bridesmaids and me in her plans maybe you could suggest that? the bridesmaids wll help her with the things she is unsure of. my MOH has been given the task of planning my hen night (stagette??) but i had input to times and places etc, she has also requested that she plans another night out for me without me knowing anything other than what the theme is.... ladybirds! so it will come to the day and i will be given an outfit to put on and be pushed into a taxi and not know where im going! this could be something she would be happy doing?
you definately need to give her the option though, as you say youre best friends and she will be so hurt if you do not ask her because of her jehova past.
good luck and hpe u have a great wedding!
👍 43 | 👎 -18
Easy. You go to her and ask if she would feel uncomfortable about being your maid of honor and how she feels about handling some of the duties and obligations that come along with being a maid of honor.
If she is uncomfortable about certain aspects, there's your answer. Simply ask her, " Would it make you feel better if I asked a different friend?" I'm sure she'll thank you for being considerate. If she wants to be your bridesmaid, be sure to remind her that it includes participating in and organizing events such as the bridal shower, bachelorette party, rehearsal, some planning, etc. Thank her for being there for you and let her know she was your first pick!
👍 34 | 👎 -25
All the people have given good answers here. She definitely needs to be asked first. Trust me, she will be hurt if she is not asked. And just because she has never done this kind of thing before does not mean she doesn't know how to do a fine job of it, or she can also learn. Alternatively, you could do co-maids of honor. Good luck & best wishes! :-)
👍 25 | 👎 -32
The only obligations of a MOH are to get her dress and show up to the wedding on time (all the parties and the speech are voluntary/optional). If your friend is so unreliable that she can't do these two simple things, then it is best to ask someone else. Otherwise, ask her.
👍 16 | 👎 -39
Originally Answered: What would you do if you were a bridesmaid but were dreading it?
If yo don't feel comfortable being a part of someone's wedding day, then you shouldn't feel obligated to be in it. If the Bride and MOH and other bridesmaids are mean and hostile, then you shouldn't subject yourself to that envrionment. Like you said, you are not a size 2 but you were comfortable with yourself until this wedding stuff. That's not alright. No one should make you feel less than what you are. Friends should lift you up, not put you done and ignore your presence.
If you decide to drop out, hopefully you can return everything you bought!
Good Luck Hun!