Am I being rude as a bride to be?
Topic: Am I being rude as a bride to be?
July 20, 2019 / By Alys Question:
I set my wedding date for September 20th this year. I have to order my wedding dress by the 17th of this month, because that is when the price will go back up. I have already chosen my dress. My Aunt wants to pay for the dress, she told me two weeks ago we will get together to order it from David's Bridal. She is 3 months pregnant and works in and out of town. She is a really busy person with 3 sons and 2 nieces and my mom all living with her. I am not a busy person. I don't drive and I stay home with my 8 month old daughter. That being said; all I have done in my free time is plan my wedding so it is all I have to worry about. I am getting really stressed about the time line. I need to order my dress soon but my Aunt won't set a date to go to the dress store (David's Bridal). She won't get paid for another week so I basically know we will have to go next Saturday Sunday or Monday but she won't tell me when. I have messaged her several times. Am I being rude? Should I step back? I physically can't do this on my own and I know she wants to help but I'm stressing out! Help me! What do I say or do?
I think some of you miss understood. I can't "go get my dress" myself. I don't drive bc I can't. I understand I was being pushy. But it isn't a simple I don't want to go get it I am paying the down payment. I just can't get out of my house to do it without a ride (my aunt would be my ride).
Best Answers: Am I being rude as a bride to be?
Vernon | 5 days ago
Well, did it ever accord to you that if your aunt life is to busy for you, just go and pay for your own dress? That would solve your problem.
If you want your aunt to pay, then you need to let her find time.
You could set up a time for next weekend, tell her the time. If she comes and pay, she comes. If not pay for your own dress
👍 258 | 👎 5
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First of all, don't believe Davids Bridal when they say that a dress will be discontinued or go off sale. It never does. Its just a way to sell dresses quickly. I've known too many women get suckered by Davids Bridal with the same thing. And Davids Bridal dresses are a dime a dozen. If they do discontinue it or raise the price you could easily find it elsewhere. Or even had it made for way cheaper.
Second of all, I don't mean this to be rude but, If she is so busy with so many things and all you do is stay at home and plan your wedding, why don't you buy it yourself? Maybe sit down with her and tell her you appreciate the thought but since she is going through so much you don't mind paying for it yourself. That way she will either get up and pay right away or admit that she's been putting it off for a reason.
👍 110 | 👎 -2
Yes, you are being rude. Instead of demanding whens she pay for it, be gracious that she wants to. Otherwise, pay for it yourself.
If she has to wait until she is paid to pay for this, this is a financial burden on her or she just doesn't have the funding at the moment because well, she has bills too. She also has responsibilities (work, her family, etc) outside of your wedding. Your wedding is top priority for you (and it should be) but it's not for everyone else.
Learn this simple thing in life and it will be easier.. Don't stress over things you can't change.
👍 106 | 👎 -9
Just go, get your dress, pay for it yourself and if your aunt is still on board with paying for it, when she gives you the money, it will be your reimbursement for the money you spent out of your own pocket. You are being way too stress-pants about this.
👍 102 | 👎 -16
Originally Answered: Father of the Bride speech for a pregnant bride?
#1 Decline to give a speech. If he has made it clear to the daughter he doesn't really approve of the wedding and is uncomfortable, why get up there and be fake?
#2 Perhaps take this opportunity as a time to give advice or tell funny marriage anecdotes. You can give funny advice and keep it light hearted. Ask him to sit and ponder his marital wisdom to impart on them, since it sounds like they may need it. This keeps it light, less sappy and a bit impersonal, which for this situation may be best, since his personal feelings aren't what he wants to say at this event.
#3 Keep it short and sweet. "Let's take this time to raise our glass to Sister and Husband. We wish them luck, happiness, and that they support one another in making all their dreams come true."
#4 Use someone else's words. Find a poem that sums up his feelings about his daughter (hopefully he could set his opinions about her life choices aside and focus on his love as a father) or even that famous "LOVE is " passage from the bible.
This sounds difficult. Good luck.