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pleaseeee proof read! and let me know the mistakes!?

pleaseeee proof read! and let me know the mistakes!? Topic: pleaseeee proof read! and let me know the mistakes!?
June 16, 2019 / By Annelisa
Question: this is the first paragraph to my essay on the "Challenger" What started out as a wonderful day that the world would remember for years to come turned into a tragedy. On January 28, 1986 the shuttle Challenger blasted off From the Kennedy space center. Millions of people watched as it made its way into the beautiful sky. Seventy three seconds after the shuttle took off, it exploded and fire and debris were scattered everywhere. There were seven brave people on board: Gregory Jarvis, Dick Scobee, Mike Smith, Ron McNair, Ellison Onizuka, Judith Resnick and school teacher turned astronaut Christa McAuliffe.
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Best Answers: pleaseeee proof read! and let me know the mistakes!?

Wyatt Wyatt | 5 days ago
What started out as a wonderful day that the world would remember for years to come turned into a tragedy. On January 28, 1986, the shuttle Challenger blasted off from the Kennedy Space Center. Millions of people watched as it made its way into the beautiful sky. Seventy three seconds after the shuttle took off, it exploded: fire and debris were scattered everywhere. There were seven brave people on board: Gregory Jarvis, Dick Scobee, Mike Smith, Ron McNair, Ellison Onizuka, Judith Resnick and school teacher, turned astronaut, Christa McAuliffe.
👍 198 | 👎 5
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Wyatt Originally Answered: 5 stars: Could someone proof read my writing in english and correct my mistakes?
One of my most common dreams starts with me sitting on the floor, and immediately, i start to float and fly without anyone STOPPING me, but while i elevate higher, i have to make more effort, until i can't do it anymore, and i start to get down slowly. It's so wonderful, but frustrating at the same time. By the way when you said "..the teacher tell us we have to write...." you need an "s" at the end of tell, so it will be the teacher tellS us, because the teacher is only one person, good luck :)
Wyatt Originally Answered: 5 stars: Could someone proof read my writing in english and correct my mistakes?
One of my most common dreams starts with me sitting on the floor, and I immediately start to float and fly without anyone being able to stop me. But the higher I elevate, I have to make more effort, until I can't do it anymore, and I start to come down slowly. It's so wonderful, but frustrating at times. Your homework was fantastic, I think. Only a few errors! Buena seurte!

Shaw Shaw
You need another sentance at the end, just naming the people is not a good ending to the paragraph, maybe a sentance describing what your paper is for, in english generally papers need a thesis. EX. lets say im writing a paper about censorship and it's a problem cause solution paper then i would write something like... The First amendment was introduced to allow all people the freedom of speech; the freedom of religion, the freedom from religion and it restricts the creation of laws that would prohibit these freedoms. Why then in 1990 did Missouri legislatures introduce a bill that would forbid the sale of records containing lyrics that are violent, sexually explicit, or perverse? This bill would indeed contradict the first amendment in everyway that pertains to the freedom of speech. Censorship is restricting United States citizens that want to express themselves and they're being oppressed by those who don't want to hear what others think about them. Censorship is a problem that needs to be addressed. The last sentance states that censorship is bad and we need to do something about it, what im trying to prove with the paper, my thesis.
👍 80 | 👎 -2

Niel Niel
don't capitalize from after ' blasted off '. Capitalize ' Space Center ' as it is a name. New paragraph starting with ' Seventy three seconds'. After ' it exploded' put a semi collin ' ; '. When listing the names put ' and A school teacher turned...'.
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Niel Originally Answered: Proof read/edit this 500 word paragraph (and plz do not answer if you do not read it)?
Yikes! I wouldn't know where to begin editing this. Your thought process is so disjointed that this paper is all over the place. Your word choices are either completely incorrect or very poor throughout. You also cite the ridiculously obvious with a redundancy that boggles the mind--why not do some research so your conclusions are not so mindless and obvious.

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