I really screwed up, any suggestions on how to fix it?
Topic: I really screwed up, any suggestions on how to fix it?
June 26, 2019 / By Becky Question:
Ok, so I've been messing up alot lately and my mom has gotten to the point where she doesnt know what to do with me anymore. I'm 18 years old and she still has me follow rules such as bed time, curfue, and all that lame stuff.
Somehow I always manage to mess up the smallest things and they end up really hurting her feelings. Last night, I was up till about four o'clock in the morning and she came and knocked on my door and started to get after me for being up so late. She gets really upset when I stay up because she has Kidney Dieseas and lack of sleep is a contributing factor in it and she doesn't want that for me. However, I forget sometimes :/
So last night, she took my phone and laptop. I had some text messages on my phone I really wish she wouldn't have seen and I usually erase them from preventing stuff like this from happening, but yeah, a little too late for that.
This morning I tried to make it up to her by making her breakfast and coffee before she went to work and she didn't want it. She said I was two-faced because I act a certain way when I'm with my friends and a certain way around her. She also said that I don't care about her or our relationship. I do love and care about my mom very much, but I get carried away in my selfishness sometimes and I really wish there was someway to let her know how sorry I am without her trying to tell me I'm not.
any ideas on how I could get my mom back? I'd appreciate any feedback.
also, I didn't have a bedtime especially during the summer until this year and I'm not allowed to sleep in. She says she's trying to give me more freedom but it just seems like her freedom is comming in the form of rules to help get ready for the "real world."
I feel if she didn't place so many rules, I'd actually do better and it would be a plus to her because she'd have less things to be dissapointed in.
I also told her that the mistakes I make are a learning experience and she said that was b.s. and that you shouldn't have to make mistakes to learn. I'm trying so hard, but now I don't even know what to do anymore.
would moving out be the best thing for both of us?
my mom and I have always had a really close relationship and I don't think she's trying to guilt me into anything but she might just be a little overbearing because I'me her only child.
ps. Yes I am looking for a job and I have had one before and while I did, I tried to be as independant as possible but my financial status didn't always give me the freedom I wanted.
Best Answers: I really screwed up, any suggestions on how to fix it?
Adisson | 1 day ago
It sounds a little as though your mom's illness is and has been a deciding factor on how you live your life. That is not only not fair, it simply doesn't make any sense. You are 18 and have a bedtime? I could understand a curfew (a very LATE one), but not bedtime. I know this is hard to hear, but your mom is using guilt to get you to live your life HER way. I don't know a single young person who doesn't act differently around their parents than they do their friends, and in your case it has been necessary. How can you feel comfortable being yourself when your mother is so restrictive and critical? My suggestion is to take some steps to becoming more self-sufficient. This will limit the control your mother has over your life. Get your own phone and computer that YOU pay for, and even consider getting a place with some friends so that you can be on your own. At the very least, realize you are being manipulated through guilt and control and don't allow it to happen anymore. Your mom is sick; that is sad, but you are NOT sick, and you need to be able to spread your wings a little. Sit down and talk to your mom - let you know you are setting some boundaries - you are old enough to send whatever text messages you wish, old enough to pull an all-nighter if you choose, and old enough to recognize when enough is enough. Tell her you love her, will always be there for her, but you have to live your life and make your own mistakes - it's what growing up is all about. Good luck!
👍 230 | 👎 1
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Originally Answered: 2.8 gpa, am i screwed?
had same issue as you did.
I got 2.7 gpa in sophomore year cus of similar reasons
but managed to pull it up to 3.5 by the end of the high school years
some things i can suggest to you is that
1) Keep trying and pull it up above 3.0~2 at least by the end of the sophomore year and the rest of the high school years
2) Focus on getting a good score on the SAT (above 1800 minimum)
3) Try your best on the admissions essay (research a lot) and
give yourself at least one month or more to write it. Also find a good tutor or someone skilled to go over your essay multiple times
4) most importantly, check the admissions deadline for you desired college and if possible do an early admission and turn in nyour admissions as earliest as possible.
I had 3.4 and 1800 flat SAT score, wrote a pretty good essay and got into a medium sized 4 year college.
But I do regret the fact that I didn't turn in the admission until the last week before deadline, that i didn't have enough time to write the admissions essay, and also didn't study for SAT enough.
As far as I'm concerned I don't think your screwed.
Because I know somebody who had around 3.0 gpa and
less than 1300 of a score on SAT but got into a good 4 year college that I didn't get into, all because he had a good essay and did an early admission.
You are not screwed in anyway even if all fails because I know many people who transferred from 2year community college to good schools like UCLA, UW, UC Berkely, USC- because they took the second chance in college with an extreme effort.
So do your best and don't let your anxiety keep you from pulling up your GPA or hope.
Good luck man. Peace.
That depends on your major. [Don't go to Community College - not a whole lot of difference between crappy grades a a good school and good grades at a crappy school.] If you can get a job, do so. Then go about making a reputation in your chosen field. Attend trade groups. Publish an article. In short, show more than casual interest in your profession. Become a leader. When you apply for grad school I assume you would apply in your chosen field, e.g., finance to MBA. Emphasize your professional accomplishments. And, BTW, make sure every grade you earn before graduation is an A. Not to be rude, but you have your sob story - now all future grades need to be consistent with your Epiphany.
👍 100 | 👎 -6
You said "She said I was two-faced because I act a certain way when I'm with my friends and a certain way around her."
Does she think of you as her friend or something? You are 18 and not a child. Yes you are her child. You are an adult though. She can't tell you when to go to bed. You can respect her and keep the noise down so you don't wake her.I don't think you are being selfish at all you are just being an independent adult.
👍 100 | 👎 -13
You two need to start communicating better. You are a teenage, you are my age. I do not have a bed time; though i do have a curfew which is total bull(words that got my last account suspended).
She needs to allow you to be young and stupid and do as you want with your life while you can still not think of the consequences. We are getting older and older and before you know it you are going to be 30, with a job, and bills and all kinds of responsibility wondering what you did with your youth. I do not want to be there, and i am sure you do not either. Talk to her, come to a compromise to give you more freedom.
Of course if you are financially able, moving out is always a good option.
👍 100 | 👎 -20
you are living in her home, she has rules, you as a young adult should abide by those rules.
also she has kidney problems. you need to help her out, and i'll bet you that she's 100% correct about you acting two different ways, i don't know a teen who doesn't, that's the way it's always been,
she need your help, do yourself a favor and help her out.
if you don't want to help and you don't like her rules then the solution is real easy
move into your own place
i'm sure you will have no problems paying your bills and buying food
it's always easy to complain about parents. try fixing the problems and your mom just might surprise you and let you do things you want to
👍 100 | 👎 -27
Originally Answered: Am I screwed I really want in! To be a cop?
My advice is to not count on the position. Please understand, and I am not trying to be rude, but if your essay testing, and application read anything like the question you posed here, you will not be hired.
Part of being in Law Enforcement is the ability to be understood both orally and on paper. With writing skills like yours, you would not be able to write a police report that would stand up to scrutiny of an attorney during a trial.
If you are really really interested I would recommend going back to school, or taking some night classes and work on your grammar, spelling, and structure.
Again please understand I am saying this in all kindness and trying to be helpful.