How many of you have stayed after an affair?
Topic: How many of you have stayed after an affair?
July 20, 2019 / By Blondie Question:
So many of you are so critical on others about staying with the SO after they cheat. Have you actually been through it to say that they should leave? I always thought I would leave if it happened to me. But I was also told until or if it happens to you don't judge others because you never know what the circumstances were. I do not think any person should cheat, they should always talk, communication gets lost. That is what happened in my case.
I understand that there are people that can never be committed to one person, the slut that my husband had an emotional affair with was also seeing two other guys (and she is married, third marriage), she lost one of her jobs because she used it as an escort business.
I know this because she worked with my sister. And she has blamed my sister for her getting fired. I think she was after my husband for revenge, I am a twin so that is how she knew who I was.
I think cheating once is forgivable, but multiple! I could never go through what I went through again, it would probably kill me.
Best Answers: How many of you have stayed after an affair?
Aislin | 7 days ago
Yes, I have been through it. I was married for 14years. I found out he was cheating on me 7yrs into it. I stayed & belived he would stop. he didnt. He lied for years and kept cheating with numerouse women and I later found out he had alway been cheating on me even when we were just dating. I wasted 14 years on a lie. I wish I would have taken my friends advice and left him when I first found out. I belive once a cheater always a cheater. They only get better at hiding it. I only wished I would have left sooner.
👍 142 | 👎 7
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I did sort of. I've never been able to prove that my wife cheated physically, but I know that she was in love with someone else for years and wanted to leave me for him. She hid that fact and stayed for the kids sake and because of her religious beliefs and not because of any love for me.
So I think you're right. It's not as simple as people like to make it out to be.
To some people it's all about sex, but to me the emotional cheating is more hurtful than simple sex for the fun of it would be. Knowing that my wife was 'in love' with someone else hurt far worse than if she had let her hormones run away with her and made a mistake.
So I think we shouldn't be so quick to give flip black and white advice. It's complicated.
👍 50 | 👎 0
I can't speak for everyone but when people come on here and ask what would you do or what do you think and you tell them that is not judging that is answering their question, also your right different situations call for different actions but we are basing our opinions on what the person is telling us if you tell us you man cheated we have to take your word and form an opinion from what you are telling us in order to give you our true opinion bottom line you don't know any of us so if you don't take our advise we won't know that's the whole reason why people come on hear to tall smack and get it off there chest and vent basically when they log of 9x out of 10 they are still with that person. (Personally I know me I wouldn't stay because it would never be the same for me but that's just me I would never trust that person again).
👍 44 | 👎 -7
There is NO excuse for cheating.
I forgave my husband the first time he cheated (while I was pregnant the first time). Then he did it again (while I was pregnant the second time). I stayed because I thought I had no other options, but I was never able to forgive him or love him again. I finally got up the courage to leave after my children were grown.
👍 38 | 👎 -14
I stayed. And I am very glad I did. My wife cheated about 5 yr into our marriage. We sought counseling where she learned why she did it, and I learned how to forgive. We have had 37 wonderful (mostly) years together since then. And we have NEVER brought it up since. We will celebrate our 42nd anniv next month.
👍 32 | 👎 -21
Not only did she find someone else, she already has plans to get remarried. Not divorced yet, and I am unemployed and at this point could not leave if I wanted. She made up her mind before I had a chance to repair our marriage.
👍 26 | 👎 -28
Originally Answered: Can you still get in a good college even if you stayed back once or twice?
The primary thing they look at is your GPA and test scores- if those are good then you'll have no problem. If both are bad- you don't have much chance. If one of those is good and the other not so good- you'll have to write a killer entrance essay and do something positive to get their attention.
But hope is not lost!