Still madly in love with my ex, given up on life, what to do?
Topic: Still madly in love with my ex, given up on life, what to do?
June 25, 2019 / By Chelsie Question:
My ex girlfriend broke up with me six months ago. We had a wonderful relationship, well it must have not been so wonderful for her if she broke up with me I guess. However I truly enjoyed every moment I spent with her. Never in my life have I ever felt something so strong for someone, I was married once even. I missed her every minute I wasn't with her, I really did. When we were together everything made sense and now it's so hard. I loved everything about her. I've dated some gorgeous women, but they had no personalities. She was naturally beautiful and my friends would always tell me I could do better, but I didn't care, she was so beautiful to me. I did anything for her. ONe time when she got hurt and was in the hospital I spend ever moment by her side for six days and never left, never showered, or went to work. I just wanted to be by her side.
Anyways now you know I love her, but she returned from a business trip and said we were two different people at different points in our lives. I wanted to get married and have a family, and she wanted to cool it down and have fun, but fun being single. So I left and I've tried to contact her since and she would give me brief answers. I'd try to make casual plans, not being to forward such as lunch, and she'd always cancel at the last second. I haven't talked to her in two months. One thing I did to better myself as I thought this was the reason she left me was I got sober. I had an addiction to pain killers and I'm now 101 days sober. It's the best thing I did for myself and it's like I got my life back, but she doesn't really care.
I honestly feel like she could care less what happens to me. I don't want to feel like a loser and hang on forever, but everything I do I still do for her. I still cut my hair the way she liked it. I dress the way she liked me to dress, and I try to further myself as a person as that's what she wanted. I bought a house a few months ago and fixed it up, and made it nice. I decorated it the way she would want it, just hoping she would some day return to me, but I don't think she ever will.
I truly feel empty without her, and every moment I think, I think of her. I have tried to forget her, and tried dating, but everytime I'm with another woman I think of her. I honestly feel that every day without her is a day wasted. I would give this girl everything in the world just to have her for one more night.
She made me feel that every woman I've ever been with has been a mistake. She is my true love, and I'm lost without her. What can I do to go about life?
Best Answers: Still madly in love with my ex, given up on life, what to do?
Ascelina | 5 days ago
First of all, CONGRATULATIONS to getting "clean" from the pain meds. I too well KNOW what a total "burden" they can be & know of too many people who would just LOVE to be able to say what you did about them. Keep up the GREAT work w/that, & don't let ANYTHING even tempt you to go backwards regarding that situation. I COMMEND you on that!
Things do happen in our lives for reasons that we just may not understand at the time. The only thing I can suggest is just keep going forward w/your life. There IS someone out there who is just for you. For some unknown reason she just may not have been the rite one, regardless of how/what you feel. Try your best to stay away from places & things you did together that would remind you of her. For some unknown reason she just had a change of heart. You still do not know what the future holds for you. But do know there IS a someone out there that is just the rite one for you. That dear old word "time" does heal. I know it sounds impossible at the moment, but just trust that it does. Do your best to keep on going forward in your life. KNOW in "time" you WILL be OK & things WILL work out for the best for you. Don't give up, keep going forward...Best to you...:)
👍 98 | 👎 5
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Originally Answered: How to get over a breakup with the love of my life that took 6 years of my life?
I do know how you feel, very much so, but resigning from your job will only compound you'r problem, that is if money is an issue, which in most people's life it is. All I can say is that time is the key, for the wounds to heal. Going out and getting involved in another relationship, is not the answer. Often people do this and it back fire's because of old resentments. Try to keep yourself busy, and not let your mind run wild with you, I know I did, and it brought me to alcoholism, drug abuse, and legal problems, which now I am looking at a prison sentence which is 3 long year's. I know that telling you my problem's, doesn't solve your's, but it can be worse, much worse. I hope that this helps you, and you hang in their, and stay busy.
There is no simple answer for you, but I am going to remind you that just because we might fall in love with someone, it doesn't mean that they have to love us back. This sort of thing happens ALL THE TIME. We can't wear all the right clothes and change our hairstyles, or decorate our home and make someone love us. Love doesn't really have that much to do with the externals. It has to do with ourselves as people. You both gave it a try; she decided it wasn't right for her. You need to accept that and do something else with your life. Romanticizing her isn't going to bring her back or contribute to your future happiness.
I know you are in pain right now, but once you allow this dear woman to have her own chance at happiness, you may be willing to find some happiness with someone else - when you have really let go and are ready to move on. Good luck.
👍 30 | 👎 -2
Well there is loving someone and then there is obsessing over someone. Sounds like you may be obsessing over her and have not given yourself any self worth. It takes two to make a relationship and you are not a puppet and need to have a mind of your own. Maybe that is what she seen missing in you and it could have been the addiction or not. You need to move on and continue your search to find someone special. Just remember if you two are meant to be together, down the road it will happen. Until then, stop obsessing and move on.
👍 26 | 👎 -9
Everything you think you are doing right is probably the reason she left. You sound OBSESSED. Not leaving the hospital to go to work or shower is unbalanced thinking. In addition, it does not make you appear loving. It makes you appear obsessed. All women want a confident, cool, collected man. Become that and you will get what you want. Do not stalk her, do not chase her, let her see you are a commodity that other women want. Good luck
👍 22 | 👎 -16
Originally Answered: Tell me how you met the love of your life?
We met in the summer of 2008 when we both worked in the same federal lab. It was kind of a chance meeting - I was a student and I didn't even know about the job placement program that got me the job. I just happened to see a little poster for it one day and went in to ask a question. It turned out that it was the last day to apply so I hastily submitted a resume. I had wanted a job in a different lab but didn't get it and I wasn't thrilled with the one I got (I wanted microbiology and this was ecology).
My husband is from France. He was in France getting a Master's degree and his university required students to do two internships. He had heard about the research scientist I worked for and was interested in his research so he specifically contacted him to do a 2 month internship in his lab. He was supposed to come in 2007, had applied and was accepted, but it turned out that there was not enough time for him to get security clearance from the government. So he made plans to come in 2008 instead.
Two or three days after we met in the lab I asked him to hang out with me and my friends. I knew immediately that he was an incredibly kind person. No one else in the lab (out of about 10 people) was being friendly or welcoming to him - no one asked a single question or offered to show him around or anything. So I took that role. We hung out that night and the next day he asked me on a more formal date. After that we spent time together every day after work. After three weeks we were laying on our backs by a pond looking at the stars and he asked if he could hold me hand. A week after that I kissed him (his first kiss) outside of his house - he was shaking like a leaf and I hugged him, and he hugged me so tightly I could tell he never wanted to let me go.
When he had to go back to France at the end of the summer we both cried. We were already madly in love with each other. I promised that I would come visit him at Christmas and I did. We spent 1.5 years apart from each other with about 5 visits per year. We talked on the phone every single day, sometimes for 8 or more hours lol. We sent thousands of emails and texts. He then did his final thesis internship in the same lab here and since then he has lived here permanently (we've been together a bit more than 3 years). We just got married 4 weeks ago in France and it was beautiful!