My dog frustrates me to the point where I lose it. HELP?!?
Topic: My dog frustrates me to the point where I lose it. HELP?!?
June 16, 2019 / By Dalinda Question:
I have a 6 month old puppy and I have had him for 2 months now. I am starting to get EXTREMELY frustrated with him to the point where I hit him (more like a whack) because of something he is not supposed to do like chew his bed. I feel like I have given him EVERYTHING possible since the day I got him like good/decent food (Science Diet), tons of toys including chew toys and bones (given on occasion only), exercise (proper walks) as well as trips to the park where he can socialize with other dogs. He is also enrolled in obedience training and we go once a week and have a great time together. I think I was overly-prepared before even getting him! I knew everything I had to do for him because I wanted him to have the best. Initially things were going well and I thought we were bonding but as I have never had a puppy before (only older dogs) he obviously has a LOT to learn and I'm also learning myself because having a puppy is just the beginning. There is so much he must learn and so much I want to do with him throughout his life. I am trying to only take one day at a time but I am getting frustrated now with all of the training, constant commands, treats...everything. Even my parents have told me off because they say all I focus on or talk about is the dog. He is my life and I am happy with that. But I need help focusing on my frustration. Now please don't get me wrong or call me cruel because as I have explained I am trying SO HARD and yes it is possible I am currently expecting too much from the dog as he is only still a pup but I need help on focusing my anger and frustration. The last thing I want is to have a dog that doesn't trust me. I have only ever whacked him a few times when I got really angry at him and even though I know he doesn't understand what he has done (dogs don't rationalize) I just don't know how to deal with the situation. I am willing to do absolutely ANYTHING like take up meditation classes or acupuncture to help myself because I know that if I am calmer, the dog will be too but I wanted to find out if there's anything anyone can suggest because I want the best for me and my dog. I love him so much and the last thing I want is to hurt him but recognizing that I need help is the first step. To add a little more detail about myself, I do react to certain situations very quickly (and I guess even if it involves an animal), for example if someone hurts me, I will react to the pain by immediately pushing or hurting them back. It depends on the situation of course but I am sensitive especially to loud noises and things like that. Thankfully my pup rarely barks but I have been around dogs that never shut up and that is just one thing that REALLY makes me angry to the point where I want to physically shut the dog up (although I am aware that is not the answer) but I have seen others control these types of situations so well and I just DON'T understand how they do it. Obviously I am sensitive
to certain situations but how do I deal with them?! I think it's clear I have little to no self-control. What do I do to help myself and my dog?!
I live alone with the puppy and also have two cats so it's up to me and me only to look after him right. Unfortunately, I don't have anybody to support me with the dog.
I hate that I can't directly respond to any of you. That is the annoying part with all of this but I appreciate all of the responses.
I agree that I am the one who needs the help and not my dog but if I get help, my dog will too and we will both live happier lives! I began this question in hopes of receiving tips and/or advice on relaxation methods or techniques for myself because dogs are generally mirrors of their owners so I will do a much better job of raising him if I can help myself first (because I do not want to end up with a fearful, anxious, angry animal).
I understand my dog doesn't realize how much I have spent on him nor do I expect him to lol I was just adding that to show I am trying my hardest and have provided him with the basics so if you think something is missing please let me know (I just didn't want to receive an answer that was super unhelpful like "walk your dog more often")
As for his food, Science Diet just seemed like the best choice
initially and he eats it so for now it's okay but yes I am aware it's not that great (although had not thought much about this when I first got him). Even my cats are better on Royal Canin and I was thinking of switching my dog to that brand but the brands you have mentioned are not familiar to me (I think they may be American and I am in Australia). Please see dogfood.com.au and let me know if there are any brands on there that you think would be better and why and I will go about trying them out!
My puppy is a Kelpie and I have researched the breed and am aware of what he requires (mostly LOTS of exercise!!)
but have read that a dog food with less protein would be better for him...any ideas? He is highly active and I do exercise him a lot so we don't really have any major problems with him settling down (although a diet change still sounds like an excellent idea). It's just more ME needing help to settle down so I can handle him better.
Best Answers: My dog frustrates me to the point where I lose it. HELP?!?
Blessing | 4 days ago
Take a deep breath. If this pup is frustrating you there are most likely other things in your life that are frustrating you. So like your pup you need to learn some self control and relaxation skills. The thing about classes and such is that you must be willing to go through the changes in order to learn the coping skills. Believe me it is going to take some time and practice to learn these skills. Often times people give up on them because they don't feel that the methods are working.
Training the dog will help with these skills as you should not train the pup if you are upset or angry. Instead take the pup out and go for a walk. If you are frustrated leave the pup at home and go by yourself. I don't mean a fast walk but a walk that is slow and calm. Take long, slow strides and focus on breathing deep and calmly. Take some time and look at your environment. Slow down and smell the roses so to speak.
Other things that will help is to get enough sleep. Right now most people are not getting enough sleep. Lack of sleep affects your attitude and frustration levels. Go to bed and get up the same time every day including weekends and days off. Lay off of the caffeinated beverages. Caffeine amps people up and makes self control harder to achieve. Eat a healthy diet. Lay off of the processed food. Try and eat at the same time every day. Listen to calming music. Again you are trying not to get amped up. Think calm.
Since you are willing to do ANYTHING, talk to a therapist. Do not worry what others think. do not think that you are "crazy" or "sick". You just need to get yourself back on track. Look for someone that does cognitive behavioral therapy so that you can learn some coping skills. You might need to consider some short term medication in order to take the edge off.
Like I said before, it sounds like there are more issues then dealing with your puppy. Having a puppy is just making you more aware of these issues. Again since this is the internet, you can give or take on my advice. However you said that you would do ANYTHING to solve the problem.
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Originally Answered: My husband and I have different spending habits and it frustrates me but I don't like to have disagreements about it?
People who end up with a lot of money quite often do so because they spend money wisely.
Your husband makes a good point. There's a lot of lifestyle inflation these days. I'm almost 60. When I was growing up, no one I knew paid for manicures or pedicures. Women did it themselves. People cut their own pets' nails every day. For that matter, a neighbor fed your pets while you were on vacation, and you could be counted on to return the favor, instead of paying a bonded stranger $20 a day. Only special occasion clothes were dry-cleaned, and today, even teens buy crappy everyday clothes that need that kind of care.
We didn't order out for pizza, either. Mom made dinner from stuff she found in the pantry. There was a book out some years ago called The Tightwad Gazette, which promoted the idea of almost always eating at home, to save money. I've seen people comment, though, that they'd rather work 40 hours a week than live off a spouse's salary and cook every night. That's a choice people make, and those are the sorts of things couple talk about and work out *before* they get married. Neither is right or wrong
You have a first world problem. You'd rather get pampered, Hubby would rather take a vacation. Tough to be you, I guess.
I might be able to help you here. My mom and I are trying to train my two dogs too, because the boy jumps and nips people. So to train them "Sit, stay, come," etc, you should probably with buying some books on it. Read here https://tr.im/SIjnC
Explore and see what information people can give you. If you go on twice a day walks, you'd be surprised how many people walking dogs you can chat with and find information!
OK. You can also start by treats/toys. For toys, keep a secret selection of different-flavored bones somewhere, and when the dogs do something well, give them a bone. For treats you do the same. I would probably stick with the bones, because the dogs can get overweight with too many treats. So when your dog is calm and just kind of walking around, pat his behind a little and say loud and clearly, "Sit!" Not roughly, just kind of hold the word like your singing. Your voice should be effective, but sweet. If the dog doesn't automaticlly sit, that's okay. Just try it again until he does. Once your dog sits, you give him whatever the prize is.
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Puppies are frustrating, time-consuming, and stressful. They don't know or understand your expectations, and even when they begin to, they still test your limits. If you're going to have a puppy, you have to be prepared for that. Personally, I much prefer to adopt slightly older dogs, for those very reasons.
I rarely advocate "giving up" on a puppy, but perhaps you should consider re-homing... It doesn't sound as though this is a good, fair situation for you-- and *definitely* not for the puppy. A good no-kill rescue is your best bet for re-homing, as they already have contacts, and a set procedure for screening potential new caregivers.
But if you decide to keep the puppy, you *have* to stop hitting and hurting him. It's completely counterproductive, and is likely making his undesirable behaviors worse.
And it's not about "giving him everything"-- dogs have no concept of that. It's about setting limits, being consistent, being trustworthy and dependable in your dog's eyes, and being kind but firm.
Do some serious research about positive reinforcement-- it really works.
Also, make sure your puppy is getting plenty of exercise. A tired dog is a happy, well-behaved dog.
Add: Definitely agree with the other responder-- Science Diet is a terrible, unhealthy food. Check out sites like dogfoodscoop.com or dogfoodadvisor.com for better commercial foods, or do some research about prey model raw.
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Why isn't your obedience instructor helping you with this?
When training, only work on one thing at a time and as soon as you feel frustrated or getting angry, STOP, and play with your dog or even put him/her into a crate and go do something else.
When an owner gets angry at their dog, the dog realizes it and either retaliates with anger, or simply shuts down which is what I think your dog is doing. Your obedience trainer should be teaching you how to keep your dog focused and happy, which in turn will keep you more settled and calm.
Maybe you need some private lessons with your instructor. It isn't "giving" a dog things that bonds you to your dog, dogs couldn't care less about anything but food, a place to rest, and being with a loving and compassionate owner.
Work more closely with your trainer and if you aren't getting any help there, find another trainer.
Sounds like you need more help than your dog does.
How about seeing a medical doctor about YOUR problems?
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Well I have a 10 month old English bulldog named Dozer, and trust me, I have had my fair share of frustration from her. My other dog,7 year old Border Collie named Patch, is sadly getting older and very grumpy so he doesn't want anything to do with her playfulness they Get the works; Nice food, walks, toys, and lots of love and attention. They fight over toys, territory, and all they do is bark. I understand this would be helpful in a robbery but I get so mad and so frustrated! Then I just have to remember how much my dogs love me and that they just want attention, and that they are the responsibility that I chose to have.
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Originally Answered: Finding the freezing point and the boiling point of a solution.?
a Delta T= [(15.5/MW KNO3)/.5]*2*Constant for freeze or boil
between the  is the molality calculation
2 is the van't hoff factor KNO3 dissociates into 2 pieces in water
Constants need to be looked up, keep in mind your freezing point will be <0 C while your boiling point will be >100 C, just remember to use the right constant
b has a problem in the solvate, what is CCl? it could be a typo on your part, if it was CCl4 or any CH#Cl the van't hoff factor is 1, if it was Calcium chloride then your van't hoff is going to be much more difficult to solve as ionic does not dissolve well in Benzene.