What etiquette stands when paying for a party you have been invited to? (birthday party/dinner etc)?
Topic: What etiquette stands when paying for a party you have been invited to? (birthday party/dinner etc)?
July 18, 2019 / By Katey Question:
My firm belief is that you should never host a party unless you are willing and able to cover all costs associated.
1. I went to a party where on the letter it stated that dinner would cost $20. It was quite awkward at the end when the hostess asked everyone for money (and she could have easily paid for it herself).
2. Another party I've been to recently the hostess paid for everything but guests felt that they were expected to chip in (and it became another awkward situation).
I ended up covering some of my dessert and my drinks which I find fair as I was invited to the party.
3. At a house party (a birthday again) everyone was asked for money at the door. There were not many costs for the party but the host's justification was that not many would bring presents so is that an ok arrangement?
A solution to this last situation I think is leaving a tin at the front and letting everyone donate how much that they feel they are happy to give-a proven honesty system.
Best Answers: What etiquette stands when paying for a party you have been invited to? (birthday party/dinner etc)?
Helaine | 2 days ago
the host assumes all costs related to the event; if s/he is doing a party where friends or relatives are attending s/he can ask them to bring food/drinks/ect but aside from that
👍 92 | 👎 2
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Originally Answered: Etiquette question about Birthday Party invitations?
I think it's extremely tacky and presumptuous. I live in a nice suburb too. Birthday parties have become so extravagant. What do the kids have to look forward too? I admit it's convenient to have a party outside of the home at a themed venue like a bouncing party, laser tag, etc. However, a gift registry is too much. I'm leaning towards the other extreme of saying "Please - No Gifts" on my son's next party invitation simply because he has everything he could possibly want and we're filled to the brim with toys. We're fortunate as parents to be able to provide for him.
By inviting a guest to a birthday party, you're asking them to share in your celebration. In my opinion, it's not about the gifts and I don't want my son to think it is his chance to get everything he wants in the world.
I like to give themed gifts like pool toys and a beach towel for spring/summer birthdays or themed pajama and toothbrush sets. Most kids need pajamas or a beach towel. This solves the problem of what to give a child you don't know well or who has everything. The other thing I do is let my son pick out the gift and go with that idea (within reason).
Give what your child wants to give. Don't feel obligated by a registry.
Usually the host assumes the cost, but if they are upfront about not being willing or able to do so and you go anyway then you are obligated to pitch in the requested amount.
Usually guests help offset the costs of a party by "bringing something" like drinks or a dessert or whatever the host requests. It is considered polite to offer such a gift when accepting any invitation.
👍 30 | 👎 -5
Unless the situation is up-front and people are allowed to choose in advance whether it's a situation where they feel comfortable with paying their way for a party, then people invited to a party should not be expected in any way to pay. But additionally, guests should be aware and not expect the host/hostess to pay for "drunken binges" just because someone else is footing the bill. A little courtesy and common sense goes a long way.
👍 29 | 👎 -12
The host should pay for the food, decorations entertainment. You can have the party BYOB and just offer a small array of mixers(sodas, tea, water etc..). The invitation should state if it is BYOB beforehand or a potluck or a bring your own meat kind of BBQ. But it should definitely be stated ahead of time. If it is a party that has a bar that you have to pay for alcohol that is ok, but again needs to be stated. If you go to a party that has a plate price that should be paid ahead of time to alleviate the awkwardness. If it is put on at a restaurant it needs to be made known that this is a gathering of people and that the group is responsible for their own tab. And number 3, What? It sounds like a kegger and what kind of host asks for money for presents? lame. It sounds like you have some cheap acquaintances.
👍 28 | 👎 -19
If you are hosting a party, you are obliged to pay the entire cost for each person you invite. If the expense of a party at a restaurant is more than you want to pay, have a simple party at home. One wonders if a party at a restaurant of this type would be appropriate for a one year old. He is too young to play the games. Perhaps cake at home would be a better idea this year, and do this when he is older and can participate.
👍 27 | 👎 -26
Originally Answered: Planning a 9 year old (soon to be 9) birthday party. I"m thinking of a roller skating or ice skating party?
I worked as a birthday party attendant at my local roller rink. We had a 10 child minimum with the cheapest package being $8.99 per child, so you will be into at least $100 plus a tip. It includes:
2 - 2 1/2 hours of Skating Fun
• Host/Hostess for your party
• Reserved Seating for the Entire Party Session
• Admission & Reg Skate Rental
• Invitations and Place Settings
• Unlimited Refills on soft drinks
• Trip to the Funny Money Machine for Birthday Child
• FREE passes to a future session
• Choice of Large Slice of Pizza or an All-Beef Hot Dog for each guest
• 10 Tokens per guest
• ICEE-filled Sports Bottle for Birthday Child
As far as the actual skating, the birthday sessions are only for party-guests so it shouldn't be too crowded unless there are a lot of parties going on (ask which day isn't full). Kids can really pick up on how to roller skate very easily, or can at least hold onto the edges well. And any adults that want to skate may do so for free.
A comparable local ice rink has this for birthday parties:
$16.99 per person, 8 child minimum, so at least $140 plus tip
* 2 Hours of Public Skating
* Skate Rental
* 2 Slices of Cheese Pizza each
* Party Host (Gratuity Not Included)
* Location in Party Area
* Paper Goods
* Birthday Kid Gets A Free T-Shirt
* Two adult chaperons may skate for free
The skating aspect for kids is about the same. The only difference to kids are the cold and the wet, which could be upsetting to some.
In either case, be sure to really bend your knees in order to prevent further tailbone injury haha (been there). I personally think that roller is good for the younger kids and ice skating is better for the teenage years. Also, teenagers will not invite as many people or want a party hostess, so you can save some money!